A fantastic finale! Definitely worth the wait ( ok it was only one night but you know what I mean 😂). I was surprised to find that I too didn’t mind (too much) that A Haunting in Venice was about as similar to Hallowe’en Party as I am to a super model. I’m a bit of an old Goth at heart and so enjoyed Venetian decor and I really want that zoetrope with the skeleton reel. However….
I knew you would have the adaptation of ‘Five Little Pigs’ in your list - we have discussed this before and while I still toy with asking you for your second and ‘handbags at dawn’, have to admit that you are completely correct in your evaluation. I think I was seduced by the 1920 costumes and the Erik Sate piano music. Toby Stephens would have indeed made a marvellous ‘Augustus John’ type of artist (excuse me while I fan myself). Rachel Stirling is gorgeous, much more so than the woman who played Elsa Greer (no offence) but I think that this works because it explains why Amyas stayed with his wife despite his frequent dalliances. Mind you when you think how fabulous R.S and T.S would have looked as a sexy feisty couple it was indeed a lost opportunity.
The terrible 1980s films, I’d need a couple of glasses of wine before I could really laugh at them.
The ‘Agatha Christie’s Marple’ series, after the initial ‘Murder at the Vicarage’ (beautiful costumes…) were toe curling, throw a cushion at the television awful. My most hated was the ‘Nemesis’ program- what the 🤬?!??!
I completely agree with your assessment of the Sarah Phelps programs but have to add my own proviso that Sarah Phelps be force fed her own scripts for stating with a spiteful superiority that she had never read Agatha Christie. I wouldn’t even allow her salt and pepper, I’m still that cross.
Apologies, I appear to have turned into a proper keyboard warrior 🙈😂❤️
Thank you Ruth! Yes we have had the 5 L Pigs debate… you put my point of view beautifully and I can only agree about Toby Stephens, a very handsome man… We are in fact in total accord because I think this adaptation could so easily have been PERFECTION and it frustrates me that it wasn’t (IMO).
Glad you agree about Haunting. I really didn’t mind it. Looked amazing in the cinema.
Sarah Phelps's adaptations have been... Erm... Interesting? I do feel as if Christie's original material gets torn up. Her name brings an audience, but then it's an audience who end up comfused and/or disappointed and/or furious!
I think she's great so find them frustrating - I love her boldness, and I know she really admires Agatha - I just think they push in the wrong, ie politicized, direction...
However she's now doing Endless Night which might be really good.
Aha, now we can finally disagree in a civilised, Substack manner! As I’ve mentioned before, I like Five Little Pigs, although you have correctly identified its flaws. For me, they are outweighed by the sheer beauty of it: the actors, the clothes, the location etc. If, like me, you’re a native Polish speaker, the worst of all ITV Poirots by far is Appointment with Death, and I would like to think today no one would dare to show such lack of respect to a nation as they did to Poles. The poor actress playing Agnieszka, the Polish nun, is forced to pray in “Polish”, and not being Polish, she recites some gobbledygook. It’s not as if her prayer is vital to the plot, so it is very hard to understand what motivated the person who made the decision to include it. Did they think Poles simply wouldn’t notice, or that no Polish speaker would ever watch it?! It’s bizarre, though not isolated (I have a whole list of such failures) but I don’t think this would happen today. Sorry for the mini-rant and thank you again for a very entertaining list.
Good to hear from you Anna! You had said you admired 5 LPs so I’m glad to have your thoughts… not that different from my own, but as I said in the piece I felt it could - and should - have been EVEN BETTER. It’s such a superb book. Fascinated by what you say about Apptment with Death (which was terrible). What a strange thing to do!
Yes, completely agree re 5 L Pigs - it could have been so much better! Still, watching brooding Toby Stephens is never a waste of time in my book - a major reason why I enjoyed the 2006 adaptation of Jane Eyre, too.
This did make me laugh! I am with you on all of the LSD Marples, but I reserve the right to consider 'Nemesis' the absolute worst. What WAS that about? Your description of the Oliver Reed 'None' made me shriek - Charles Aznavour à propos of nothing at all, having a little sing...and all those Phelps ones just leave me squirming...Poirot was a priest?? John Malkovitch as Poirot??? The Elizabeth Taylor "The Mirror Crack'd' just went completely off the rails for me when I realised that Angela Lansbury was about 10 feet tall. At the fete she was TOWERING above everyone else, after that I couldn't unthink her as The Massive Marple. David Walliams - well we just won't go there.
Thank you! That’s so right about Angela Lansbury seeming to loom over everybody… Nemesis may well be the worst. Or Sittaford. It’s very close. But there was something about that deranged Bertram’s foyer… As for Charles Aznavour, I can only say check it out if you’ve nothing better to do (I’m sure you HAVE) - it’s beyond funny, really indescribable although I tried my best…
I watched "Appointment with death" recently, Ustinov as Poirot, Gielgud, Haley Mills, Lauren Bacall, Piper Laurie, Jenny Seagrove and throw in Carrie Fischer and David Soul and you should get a decent film, right?
Wrong.
Turgid, a laughable travel scene in London, lots of terrible acting by all involved, a huge mistake.
"Richard Attenborough is good, or would be if he didn’t sound as though he were talking underwater, although his death scene (in which he turns the colour of a radish as his eyes cross into each other) is hilarious, I hope intentionally; Oliver Reed, livening things up as ever, enjoys a post-coital bed scene with Elke Sommer while wearing an enormous woolly jumper; the best moment by far comes when Reed violently smashes to death the flimsy little ribbon of brown rubber, or ‘snake’, that has just killed Stéphane Audran."
It's clear you had a lot of fun with this post and it was great fun to read too. There's something of the spirit of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in it https://share.google/uFCatRkNccxD60an7
A delightful read! Many of these I haven't seen, since I have little tolerance for bad adaptations, but I agree with you about the ones I have. Five Little Pigs was awful!
Oh, that And Then There Were None - I tried to watch the whole film, I really did. I tried laughing at it, and even that didn’t get me through it. I ended up fast-forwarding just to see the deaths, watching in sllack-jawed wonder at its dedicated awfulness!
Is that the one which seems to be designed to make Aidan Turner look really swoony? There's a bit where he's wearing nothing but a towel, smouldering away so much I'm surprised the camera didn't steam up!
Dear Laura,
A fantastic finale! Definitely worth the wait ( ok it was only one night but you know what I mean 😂). I was surprised to find that I too didn’t mind (too much) that A Haunting in Venice was about as similar to Hallowe’en Party as I am to a super model. I’m a bit of an old Goth at heart and so enjoyed Venetian decor and I really want that zoetrope with the skeleton reel. However….
I knew you would have the adaptation of ‘Five Little Pigs’ in your list - we have discussed this before and while I still toy with asking you for your second and ‘handbags at dawn’, have to admit that you are completely correct in your evaluation. I think I was seduced by the 1920 costumes and the Erik Sate piano music. Toby Stephens would have indeed made a marvellous ‘Augustus John’ type of artist (excuse me while I fan myself). Rachel Stirling is gorgeous, much more so than the woman who played Elsa Greer (no offence) but I think that this works because it explains why Amyas stayed with his wife despite his frequent dalliances. Mind you when you think how fabulous R.S and T.S would have looked as a sexy feisty couple it was indeed a lost opportunity.
The terrible 1980s films, I’d need a couple of glasses of wine before I could really laugh at them.
The ‘Agatha Christie’s Marple’ series, after the initial ‘Murder at the Vicarage’ (beautiful costumes…) were toe curling, throw a cushion at the television awful. My most hated was the ‘Nemesis’ program- what the 🤬?!??!
I completely agree with your assessment of the Sarah Phelps programs but have to add my own proviso that Sarah Phelps be force fed her own scripts for stating with a spiteful superiority that she had never read Agatha Christie. I wouldn’t even allow her salt and pepper, I’m still that cross.
Apologies, I appear to have turned into a proper keyboard warrior 🙈😂❤️
Thank you Ruth! Yes we have had the 5 L Pigs debate… you put my point of view beautifully and I can only agree about Toby Stephens, a very handsome man… We are in fact in total accord because I think this adaptation could so easily have been PERFECTION and it frustrates me that it wasn’t (IMO).
Glad you agree about Haunting. I really didn’t mind it. Looked amazing in the cinema.
I managed a full five minutes of David Walliams as Tommy, and gave up. How reassuring to discover that I’m in good company.
Thanks India - it was so LIFELESS! 5 mins is definitely enough
It was appalling.
Sarah Phelps's adaptations have been... Erm... Interesting? I do feel as if Christie's original material gets torn up. Her name brings an audience, but then it's an audience who end up comfused and/or disappointed and/or furious!
I think she's great so find them frustrating - I love her boldness, and I know she really admires Agatha - I just think they push in the wrong, ie politicized, direction...
However she's now doing Endless Night which might be really good.
Comfused? Even thinking about those adaptations is confusing me!
Hilarious! Thank you Laura, for some fun on a dismal morning.
Thanks so much Christine! I had fun with it too
Aha, now we can finally disagree in a civilised, Substack manner! As I’ve mentioned before, I like Five Little Pigs, although you have correctly identified its flaws. For me, they are outweighed by the sheer beauty of it: the actors, the clothes, the location etc. If, like me, you’re a native Polish speaker, the worst of all ITV Poirots by far is Appointment with Death, and I would like to think today no one would dare to show such lack of respect to a nation as they did to Poles. The poor actress playing Agnieszka, the Polish nun, is forced to pray in “Polish”, and not being Polish, she recites some gobbledygook. It’s not as if her prayer is vital to the plot, so it is very hard to understand what motivated the person who made the decision to include it. Did they think Poles simply wouldn’t notice, or that no Polish speaker would ever watch it?! It’s bizarre, though not isolated (I have a whole list of such failures) but I don’t think this would happen today. Sorry for the mini-rant and thank you again for a very entertaining list.
Good to hear from you Anna! You had said you admired 5 LPs so I’m glad to have your thoughts… not that different from my own, but as I said in the piece I felt it could - and should - have been EVEN BETTER. It’s such a superb book. Fascinated by what you say about Apptment with Death (which was terrible). What a strange thing to do!
Yes, completely agree re 5 L Pigs - it could have been so much better! Still, watching brooding Toby Stephens is never a waste of time in my book - a major reason why I enjoyed the 2006 adaptation of Jane Eyre, too.
Bit of a Toby S appreciation society on here.... of which I am definitely a member.
Only wish there were more than 3 episodes here.
Thank you very much.
This did make me laugh! I am with you on all of the LSD Marples, but I reserve the right to consider 'Nemesis' the absolute worst. What WAS that about? Your description of the Oliver Reed 'None' made me shriek - Charles Aznavour à propos of nothing at all, having a little sing...and all those Phelps ones just leave me squirming...Poirot was a priest?? John Malkovitch as Poirot??? The Elizabeth Taylor "The Mirror Crack'd' just went completely off the rails for me when I realised that Angela Lansbury was about 10 feet tall. At the fete she was TOWERING above everyone else, after that I couldn't unthink her as The Massive Marple. David Walliams - well we just won't go there.
Thank you! That’s so right about Angela Lansbury seeming to loom over everybody… Nemesis may well be the worst. Or Sittaford. It’s very close. But there was something about that deranged Bertram’s foyer… As for Charles Aznavour, I can only say check it out if you’ve nothing better to do (I’m sure you HAVE) - it’s beyond funny, really indescribable although I tried my best…
I watched "Appointment with death" recently, Ustinov as Poirot, Gielgud, Haley Mills, Lauren Bacall, Piper Laurie, Jenny Seagrove and throw in Carrie Fischer and David Soul and you should get a decent film, right?
Wrong.
Turgid, a laughable travel scene in London, lots of terrible acting by all involved, a huge mistake.
Yes. That was one that is just too bad even to write about. Looked very cheap as well, as I recall! That cast, though...
Cannon films = Golan and Globus movie = Cheap and usually with ageing stars others don’t want.
G&G are also as dodgy as heck.
Marvellous!
Mark you are lovely - have to say it was quite good fun to do/revisit…
"Richard Attenborough is good, or would be if he didn’t sound as though he were talking underwater, although his death scene (in which he turns the colour of a radish as his eyes cross into each other) is hilarious, I hope intentionally; Oliver Reed, livening things up as ever, enjoys a post-coital bed scene with Elke Sommer while wearing an enormous woolly jumper; the best moment by far comes when Reed violently smashes to death the flimsy little ribbon of brown rubber, or ‘snake’, that has just killed Stéphane Audran."
It's clear you had a lot of fun with this post and it was great fun to read too. There's something of the spirit of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in it https://share.google/uFCatRkNccxD60an7
I did - thanks Jeffrey! And for the link - not known to me - looks like fun also.
You can’t believe the snake scene. So funny it is sort of beyond funny.
A delightful read! Many of these I haven't seen, since I have little tolerance for bad adaptations, but I agree with you about the ones I have. Five Little Pigs was awful!
Many thanks Abigail!
Oh, that And Then There Were None - I tried to watch the whole film, I really did. I tried laughing at it, and even that didn’t get me through it. I ended up fast-forwarding just to see the deaths, watching in sllack-jawed wonder at its dedicated awfulness!
The snake is probably my favourite moment in anything, ever.
But I agree, after a while you can't really laugh, you can only sit there astounded.
Is that the one which seems to be designed to make Aidan Turner look really swoony? There's a bit where he's wearing nothing but a towel, smouldering away so much I'm surprised the camera didn't steam up!
No that's another one - my no 1 worst was made in 1974, the Aidan one where he's wearing the world's smallest towel is quite recent, 2015 I think....
It's been adapted so many times - best I've ever seen BY FAR is Lucy Bailey's stage production
Fat fingers. Meant to say, spot-on. Bravo, Laura!
Thank you Rod, very very kind!
‘several noughties episodes of Marple appear to have been created on LSD.